These are the facts:
* I am American; my wife is Japanese
* We live and work in Japan
* My Japanese is painfully below the level at which it should be
* It is unclear as to which of these facts is going to cause the most trouble
Last Sunday, December 10, I was sitting at the computer doing something that was probably as far removed from being productive as possible. My wife walks in and says that she needs to use the computer to check something important on the Internet. I got up and proceeded to shift into “game” mode as I turned on the Wii. A few minutes later, she asks, “What do you think this means?” She’s holding one of those home pregnancy urine tests. We have done a few of these in the past, so there are no bells and whistles going off in my head. I take the stick and look at it. In one of the windows, there is a vertical line. In another window, there is an identical vertical line.
The next ten minutes are spent speculating about the results. She had thrown the instructions away when she tested a few months back, so we weren’t sure if the results were positive or negative. I guessed that if there was anything showing in the main window, then that must mean we’re pregnant. My wife, however, reasoned that one vertical line and one horizontal line would indicate a “plus” and therefore symbolize positive. Since both lines were vertical, then it might indicate negative.
“But if it meant negative, then wouldn’t it show two horizontal lines, rather than two vertical lines?” I asked. “And why show anything at all?” I added. “I’m pretty sure the main window would just be blank if it were negative.” We went back to the Internet and found the website for the company that made the test. All they had was a picture of the box showing a hand holding one of the test sticks. The stick showed two vertical lines, just like what ours showed.
“I think it’s negative,” she said.
“Why would they put a picture of a negative test result on the cover of the box?” I asked.
“A lot of people don’t want to get pregnant,” she said.
“So they’re trying to focus on the anti-pregnancy people?” I gasped, now realizing in my own mind that there was a likely chance that we were pregnant.
“I’m going to buy some more tests,” she said as she got on her coat and headed out the door to the pharmacy.
About ten minutes later she was back with three different kinds of tests. I consider those tests to be the first expenses spent on our child, and I vow to keep a running tally so the day he/she leaves our home, I can present an accurately itemized bill which can be paid in installments over the course of his/her life (adjusted for inflation, of course). She went in, did the tests, and came out with three sticks all showing positive results. It seemed official: We were pregnant. But, we thought that we should wait until we go to see the doctor. That didn’t stop us, however, from calling our families and friends and telling them the news!
